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"You never know when or where you'll stumble on true love. One thing is true, no matter how far apart you are: you know it when you feel it.
I had been using other internet dating sites for a while, when a coworker told me about Date.com in the fall of 2003. When I registered, I found Date.com more user-friendly, and it quickly became my favorite. Little did I know I would soon be finding the lady with whom I would spend the rest of my life.
On the evening of December 13, 2003, I had some extra time on my hands, and was doing different searches. When I hit the pull-down menu for “country”, somehow Indonesia caught my eye. Although I only vaguely knew where this country was, I set up a search. When bali12, popped up on my screen, her radiant smile caught my eye. The tropical island of Bali being in her name fascinated this beach lover. Next, her love of children in her description stood out to me. I am divorced, and sharing custody of Brian (13) and Stephanie (10), so this was a big consideration for me. She was educated, nonsmoking and the perfect size for me! Of course an email followed shortly thereafter.
The very next day, I received my first email from Erna. It did not take long to see that we shared a vision of our future partners: a love of children, family values, and the simple things in life, while remaining committed and loyal to your partner. Soon we were writing daily, calling each other regularly, and instant messaging.
People often ask me how it’s possible to know so much about a person over the internet. You feel it much like you do in person, when the conversations go smoothly, and the attention you show each other grows in frequency and meaning. Also, I would tell women I wrote to about important things after just a few emails, so as not to lead her along. One example is my inability to relocate, in order to maintain the shared custody arrangement.
Within a month, we both knew we were onto someone really special and very compatible. We were discussing the possibility of a trip to meet each other. With this, I began talking to Brian and Stephanie about this wonderful lady. I am careful to look out for my children’s feelings, and would only do this if it was a serious relationship. With Valentine’s Day coming soon, I knew I had to send a present that showed I cared. Having woodworking as a hobby, I chose to make a heart from reddish a tropical wood with our first names carved in it, as well as order flowers. Then we received a package in the mail from Erna with gifts for all three of us! The kids and I loved this attention!
We decided that I would take a trip to Indonesia in March, when we both had a week off of work. Erna planned the entire trip. We would spend most of the time in Bali, where her family is, and a couple of days in Jakarta to see her place, her work, and her friends.
We continued to discuss our lives in detail, to learn more of each other. I tried to send as many pictures as I could to give Erna a clear picture of what it is like here. She would take photos with her camera phone and send them regularly. We were sharing our lives in detail, long distance, thanks to technology!
As the trip approached, we were both handcrafting presents for each other, as well as important relatives (Erna made things for my children, and I made a present for Erna’s Mom). Erna sent me photos of the bags & shirts she painted designs on which was really touching. Brian and Stephanie chose not to look at the pictures so they could be surprised.
On March 18th, I took off for Indonesia, and boy was I nervous! When I arrived in Jakarta on March 20th, and our eyes met in person for the first time, the nervousness disappeared and we melted comfortably into each other’s arms. Despite Erna telling me in advance that kissing in public would be taboo there, she could not resist. Our first kiss was soft yet thrilling it had the spark of passion with the comfort of compatibility!
We sat there awaiting our flight to Bali, gazing, hugging, and talking. This whole romance was hard to imagine, yet it was really happening to us. Soon we were in Bali, and Erna was driving us to our Villa. She chose the most wonderful place for us to stay in Bali: in the villa setting we had our own little building with a private fish pond outside, as well as a common area with a pool, fountains, and lush gardens. I can hardly think of a more romantic setting.
Our first full day in Bali was a holiday called Nyepi. On this day, all outside activity ceases: no people, no bikes, and no cars, not even any flights. This tradition is based on the belief that this would make the evil spirits go elsewhere. Of course, this opportunity to be alone was very much welcomed.
After Nyepi, the sightseeing began. Erna took me to see historic temples and beautiful beaches. Some had black sand, some white. The water in places was clear and picturesque. But none of that was as spectacular as high up in the dormant Kitamani volcano, with Lake Batur in the crater formed by the ancient volcano. As soon as I saw this amazing place, I decided I would ask Erna to marry me here! When we managed to steer clear of the people hawking their wares, I popped the question…… and you know the answer, or I would not be writing this!
The next day, Erna’s Mother and some of her large family prepared a large, home-cooked meal to welcome me. It was really heartwarming to be treated like family. The week continued in Bali with more sights, including beautiful beaches, romantic dinners, and breathtaking sunsets.
Before leaving Indonesia on March 28th, we spent two days in Jakarta. We had dinner one night with close friends of Erna’s, and then on the second night, we had a large celebration dinner with many of Erna’s friends and coworkers.
The custom for rings in Indonesia is to choose matching rings at the time of engagement; there are no separate wedding rings. Erna chose our rings, and we had them engraved with each other’s names and the date of our engagement. We also discussed possible wedding plans, shopped for wedding attire, and visited a tailor who Erna chose to make wedding outfits for us as well as Brian and Stephanie.
While in Jakarta, we also visited Erna’s office and apartment. From the extremely warm greeting and congratulations from everyone, I realized just how special of a lady I was lucky enough to find. Everyone will miss her dearly, yet she was willing to change her entire life for me and the children. This truly touched me and will guide me to make the nicest life possible for all four of us…….. As soon as our immigration folks do their thing, that is.
When I returned home with the presents for Brian & Stephanie, they were as touched as I was. Both of them appreciate the effort involved in handcrafted items. The very next day (March 30th), our fiancé petition was in the mail. This was approved on May 12th, and we are now awaiting the rest of the processing. We stay in touch daily, looking forward to the day we reunite for good!"
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